Though there are multiple variations on the theme, there is one way in which they all are similar: two women are in a competitive triangle with the same man.
You might be fine with this, but it’s important to consider carefully. The last thing you should do is enter the relationship thinking ‘I’ll change his mind’ – you most probably won’t and it’s a huge gamble.
So, when she says her ex has him for the night, consider it excellent news. The timeline on real-life offspring will likely be age-dependent: Babies have no idea you exist. Show kindness and a semblance of liking kids—but don’t go overboard or kiss her munchkin’s ass. Even with modern fertility science, all tadpoles come with some sort of father.
Note: This doesn’t mean sex will happen at her place. Talk to him as if he were your boss’s wife or a dental assistant. Chances are there will be four parties in this relationship: you, her, her kid—and the Birth Father.
If you stay together, you’ll be Not My Father for years.
Adding him to the mix creates a new layer of complexity—with no easy wins.